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Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.

A certain amount of self-doubt is usual and can be helpful. Questioning yourself shows that you are assessing your past performance and are trying to learn from mistakes you may have made. But persistent self-doubt, anxiety and fear can have a hugely negative impact on your life, holding you back from success and happiness.

Our reasons for self-doubting and a lack of confidence are rarely rational. Let's take a look at some of the most common reasons to have doubts about yourself together with some techniques to overcome them.

 

1. You can't let go of bad experiences and mistakes

Remembering past mistakes and bad experiences will affect how we react to new challenges. Whether you were unfairly fired from your job or were in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, bad experiences like these inevitably take a toll on your mental health.

While bad experiences might shake your core beliefs, it's pointless to keep brooding on them. You become stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts and will be unable to move on. Reflect on your experiences and learn from them.

If you got fired, think about what you liked and disliked about that job. It might be time to take a new career path. If you went through a painful break-up, you'll now know what qualities your partner should have and will be able to move on to a more worthwhile relationship.

2. You can't let go of past successes

Even the most successful people can be vulnerable to self-doubt. Once you've had a big success, you might think that it's your highwater mark that you will never be able to match again. You may be suffering from imposter syndrome, a feeling that you only achieved your successes through luck or circumstances and that sooner or later you will be shown up as a fraud.

Bach Flower Mix 44 is very helpful in supporting you when you're suffering from low self-esteem and performance anxiety. Another tip: when you're feeling a lack of self-confidence, try writing down everything you've achieved recently. You will be able to rationalise your fears, overcome negative thoughts and face new challenges with optimism.

3. You're paying too much attention to your inner critic

Out of the tens of thousands of thoughts that pass through our minds every day, only 2% are new. The rest is just a habit. These repetitive thoughts can hold us back, becoming an internal critical voice who constantly carps at us for not being successful or not working hard enough.

Self-critical beliefs often develop in childhood. If your parents placed too high a value on success and criticised failures too harshly, you may have grown up with a core belief that whatever you do, it will never be good enough.

The good news is that you can learn to control negative thought patterns and overcome the self-doubts caused by your inner critic. Try to identify irrational or exaggerated thoughts that recur. Bach Flower Mix 85 is a blend of flower essences created to provide support during times of stress and anxiety and can help you to break the cycle of negative thinking.

Your inner critic sometimes poses questions - for example, should I go for a promotion? Your first answer may well be negative. You decide you don't have the right skill set, or it's just not the right time for you.

Turn these self-doubts into positives. Assess your skills honestly, fill any gaps in your training and prepare for the next opportunity.

4. You keep comparing yourself with others

We live in a competitive world, and it's natural to compare yourself to others. But envying what others have achieved and comparing it with what you perceive as your own lack of success is guaranteed to undermine your self-confidence.

You are not good at everything, and neither is anyone else. Rather than focusing on your weaknesses, concentrate on making the most of your skills and accept yourself for who you are.

5. You don't seek help from others

You are responsible for the choices that have brought you to where you are, and you can take actions that will boost your self-esteem. But this doesn't mean that you are alone. Opening up to friends and family will help to motivate you and to keep things in perspective. Some people find it easier to talk to someone they don't know well, such as a counsellor or life coach.

A last word

It's natural and part of being human to doubt yourself, but getting stuck in a rut of negative thinking is bad for you. By avoiding challenges, you'll miss many opportunities. Take action now, stop doubting yourself and live a happier life.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself
Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.

A certain amount of self-doubt is usual and can be helpful. Questioning yourself shows that you are assessing your past performance and are trying to learn from mistakes you may have made. But persistent self-doubt, anxiety and fear can have a hugely negative impact on your life, holding you back from success and happiness.

Our reasons for self-doubting and a lack of confidence are rarely rational. Let's take a look at some of the most common reasons to have doubts about yourself together with some techniques to overcome them.

 

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1. You can't let go of bad experiences and mistakes

Remembering past mistakes and bad experiences will affect how we react to new challenges. Whether you were unfairly fired from your job or were in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, bad experiences like these inevitably take a toll on your mental health.

While bad experiences might shake your core beliefs, it's pointless to keep brooding on them. You become stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts and will be unable to move on. Reflect on your experiences and learn from them.

If you got fired, think about what you liked and disliked about that job. It might be time to take a new career path. If you went through a painful break-up, you'll now know what qualities your partner should have and will be able to move on to a more worthwhile relationship.

2. You can't let go of past successes

Even the most successful people can be vulnerable to self-doubt. Once you've had a big success, you might think that it's your highwater mark that you will never be able to match again. You may be suffering from imposter syndrome, a feeling that you only achieved your successes through luck or circumstances and that sooner or later you will be shown up as a fraud.

Bach Flower Mix 44 is very helpful in supporting you when you're suffering from low self-esteem and performance anxiety. Another tip: when you're feeling a lack of self-confidence, try writing down everything you've achieved recently. You will be able to rationalise your fears, overcome negative thoughts and face new challenges with optimism.

3. You're paying too much attention to your inner critic

Out of the tens of thousands of thoughts that pass through our minds every day, only 2% are new. The rest is just a habit. These repetitive thoughts can hold us back, becoming an internal critical voice who constantly carps at us for not being successful or not working hard enough.

Self-critical beliefs often develop in childhood. If your parents placed too high a value on success and criticised failures too harshly, you may have grown up with a core belief that whatever you do, it will never be good enough.

The good news is that you can learn to control negative thought patterns and overcome the self-doubts caused by your inner critic. Try to identify irrational or exaggerated thoughts that recur. Bach Flower Mix 85 is a blend of flower essences created to provide support during times of stress and anxiety and can help you to break the cycle of negative thinking.

Your inner critic sometimes poses questions - for example, should I go for a promotion? Your first answer may well be negative. You decide you don't have the right skill set, or it's just not the right time for you.

Turn these self-doubts into positives. Assess your skills honestly, fill any gaps in your training and prepare for the next opportunity.

4. You keep comparing yourself with others

We live in a competitive world, and it's natural to compare yourself to others. But envying what others have achieved and comparing it with what you perceive as your own lack of success is guaranteed to undermine your self-confidence.

You are not good at everything, and neither is anyone else. Rather than focusing on your weaknesses, concentrate on making the most of your skills and accept yourself for who you are.

5. You don't seek help from others

You are responsible for the choices that have brought you to where you are, and you can take actions that will boost your self-esteem. But this doesn't mean that you are alone. Opening up to friends and family will help to motivate you and to keep things in perspective. Some people find it easier to talk to someone they don't know well, such as a counsellor or life coach.

A last word

It's natural and part of being human to doubt yourself, but getting stuck in a rut of negative thinking is bad for you. By avoiding challenges, you'll miss many opportunities. Take action now, stop doubting yourself and live a happier life.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Subtle signs your child is unhappy

Subtle signs your child is unhappy

According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.

Read the complete article

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.

Read the complete article

Even the brightest minds have setbacks!

Even the brightest minds have setbacks!

We all want to be successful but many of us find the path to achieving our dreams is blocked by our fear of failure. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, go backpacking around the world or start up a new business, you need to accept that you might fail many times over before you achieve success.

Read the complete article

Choose for your happiness

Choose for your happiness!

Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.

Read the complete article

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Read the complete article

What makes it so hard to go back to work

What makes it so hard to go back to work?

Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.

Read the complete article

Are most people good or bad

Are most people good or bad?

Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!

Read the complete article

have you considered yoga

Have you considered yoga? The advantages of practicing yoga

Have you considered yoga? There are many advantages to practicing yoga. It is a holistic practice benefitting you physically, emotionally & mentally.

Read the complete article

Feeling blue

Feeling blue?

Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.

Read the complete article

Letting go A guide for survivors

Letting go: A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

Read the complete article

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