Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!
Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.

Many of us tend to look at the externals in our lives when we should really be thinking about the things that give us a purpose in life. It's better to work out who you really are and what makes you tick.

Once you understand the things that don't make us truly happy, you can start to focus your efforts on achieving the things that bring meaning to your life. If you're feeling dejected and can't motivate yourself to make changes, Bach flower mix 65 banishes gloomy thoughts and can help you to see your life as meaningful again. The first step is to identify the misconceptions about happiness. Here are just a few of the things that we think will make us happy - but don't!

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

1. Material possessions

A fancy house, a luxury car or a designer handbag: these might be fun, enjoyable possessions to own, they aren't going to make you happy. Concentrating on acquiring material possessions to validate yourself or to make yourself feel satisfied never works. It just dents your bank account and means you're always looking for the next new thing. If you want to treat yourself, spend your money on challenging or fun experiences, as trying new things has been shown to make you happier.

2. Wealth

Money can make you happier, for sure, but only up to a certain point. It's challenging to be happy when you don't have enough money for food or a home of your own. But once you've acquired enough wealth for the basics in life, plus the occasional treat, the happiness that any further increase in your income can bring is likely to be shortlived.

Studies have shown if you win the lottery and suddenly find yourself a multi-millionaire, you will indeed be happier - but only for a year or so. Once the novelty wears off and you're accustomed to being rich, you start to see wealth as normal, and it makes no difference to how happy you feel. However rich you are, you might still compare yourself to others who are even wealthier, and this can cause unhappiness as you constantly strive to keep up with them.

3. Fame

Wanting to be a celebrity is a common ambition, but if you succeed in your aim, it's certainly not guaranteed to bring you happiness. Fame is often accompanied by a lack of privacy and increased levels of stress. Even a more localised level of fame, for example, within your particular industry, can lead to unhappiness. You might feel a constant pressure to live up to expectations, and this can be challenging. A better way of achieving happiness is to have confidence in your skills and abilities. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help you to overcome performance anxieties and master any self-doubt.

4. A perfect partner

You might think you'd be happier with a very handsome partner, but dating a person with the looks of a Hollywood star is unlikely to bring you contentment. Most of us end up by instinctively selecting a partner with the same level of attractiveness as ourselves. This is something of a generalisation, but if you feel that your partner is better looking than you are, it will have an impact on your self-esteem and social confidence.

5. Wishing you were young again

People often have rosy memories of happy days in their youth, but studies show that we feel more content as we reach our 50s, 60s, and even our 70s. With age comes self-confidence and older people tend to care less about what others think of them. Older people will also have encountered and survived any number of problems over the years, and this helps them to keep difficulties in perspective.

6. Endless leisure

Holidays are good for our mental health but a longer holiday won't make you any happier than a shorter one. A one-week break is just as beneficial as a two-week holiday when the days tend to blur into one another. And psychologists know that people who have the most leisure time tend to be the unhappiest. They tend to slip into a rut because they have little structure to their days. Busy people who volunteer and help others report higher levels of happiness.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you'd be happier if everything was perfect in your life. Some of these things might bring you a transient sense of joy, but try looking for happiness in more fulfilling ways that will last you a lifetime.

 

References:

https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/danielgilbert/files/if-money-doesnt-make-you-happy.nov-12-20101.pdf

https://www.oxfordhealth.nhs.uk/news/do-not-compare-your-inside-to-another-persons-outside/

https://www.sciencealert.com/the-older-we-get-the-happier-we-are-study-finds

Share
Marie Pure

Other articles


Choose for your happiness

Choose for your happiness!

Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.

Read the complete article

Why it's important not to care about what others think

Why it's important not to care about what others think

Do you care too much about what others think? Do people really think about others so often? Why? Read on here!

Read the complete article

Start of spring, a new start, a fresh start

Start of spring, a new start, a fresh start

Do you find that every Spring you feel that it is time to make a new start, to make a new you? This ‘spring-cleaning’ we all yearn for is deeply ingrained within all of us.

Read the complete article

Hiding a depression find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this

Hiding a depression: find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this

It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!

Read the complete article

What to do when the spark is fading

What to do when the spark is fading

Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?

Read the complete article

How to stop everything going wrong

How to stop everything going wrong

Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.

Read the complete article

Simple tips to not be afraid of the future

Simple tips to not be afraid of the future

No one knows what the future holds, so don't waste time and energy worrying about it. Read our tips and find out how to stop being afraid of what might never happen.

Read the complete article

How to beat irrational anxieties

How to beat irrational anxieties

Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.

Read the complete article

Are you healthy DIY test

Are you healthy? DIY test

Staying healthy as we get older is vitally important. Are you healthy? Take our DIY test and look out for points of concern. Take action now.

Read the complete article

Seven tips for finding peace in a chaotic world

Seven tips for finding peace in a chaotic world

The world's changed beyond recognition in the last few decades. In 1980, there were only three TV channels to choose from, and not everyone had a landline - people often wrote letters to stay in touch with one another! Computer games were in their infancy, and video recorders were still a novelty. If you wanted something, you would go shopping, or perhaps order it by post and wait a week or two for delivery.

Read the complete article

Free personal advice for your problem?

Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.

tom vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch

Yes, I want free advice

No thanks, I will do my own research