Bach Flower Advice

Is it wrong to feel unhappy?

is it wrong to feel happy

Are you unhappy?

Do you have the feeling that your life could be better? Do you feel dejected, discouraged and unhappy at the moment? You see other people laughing; hear the kids playing in the backyard and happy faces are smiling at you all around? Are you feeling alienated in this environment as you are doing not well?

If this is how you feel right now, than you are probably going through hard times now and feel unhappy. What now?

No need to feel guilty

Don’t feel guilty! Everybody goes through a bad period from time to time and there’s always sunshine after the rain. If it would always be sunny, we would live in the desert. That’s why it is so important to accept, that humans need to have bad experiences too. No matter what it is; if something bad happened, your love life seems unfulfilled or you’ve lost a person who was close to you: only having a heart of steel could prevent us from being down sometimes. Therefore, it is completely normal to feel blue from time to time. There is no reason at all to feel guilty about it.

It’s temporarily

When a road goes downhill, it will eventually go uphill again. In the tale of Till Eulenspiegel (original: Dyl Ulenspegel) a hiker asks why he felt so well, even though climbing up the hill is such a burden. The answer was simple, he was happy to know that after climbing the hill, he could walk down again and it would be so much easier. Do it like Till Eulenspiegel, focus on the happy times that come after the dark period you’re going through right now!

You are not alone

Most people in this world are living in precarious conditions. Wars, disease, pollution and crime bring harm and suffer for many people in our world. Sometimes your own problems seem less problematic if you take a look at how other people are living and how unhappy – or better yet – how happy they still are. Suddenly your own situation might look less hopeless, you begin to develop more empathy for others and you will be able to look at your own situation more realistically.

Help others

This is directly connected to what you’ve just read. Engage yourself, go out and offer your help to those who have it worse than you. A residential home for the elderly, a children’s home or a hospice – a lot of institutions in your neighborhood or your local area could use your help. It is also possible to join a neighbors association, to help in a soup kitchen or support children in your neighborhood by helping them doing their homework. You will be surprised how much joy and gratefulness you will experience. And as a very nice side effect, your own unhappiness will disappear so much faster than by just sitting on your couch and watching TV.    

Stay active

People who are unhappy, depressed or down tend to isolate themselves from society. Nothing could be more wrong. Well, there is no need to put your evening dress while still having tears in your eyes either. But a short walk through the park in the fresh air, a bike trip around the corner or – if the weather is bad – having a coffee in a nice bar will help you to get back on track faster again. Exercise is the best thing you can do. Go for it and you’ll be amazed how a short run through the park or swimming a few meters in a pool will change your mood and your wellbeing for the better.

So don’t let yourself go, make plans to go out - as soon as you feel able to.

Pamper yourself

Do you remember the last time you did something nice just for yourself? Buying a new shirt, taking a hot bath or reading this book you’ve heard so much about – do you even remember the last time you did those things? The time is now! Switch off the TV, forget about your smartphone and just do something for yourself. Enjoy, relax and you will find new energy and vitality faster than you would expect. 

Don’t give up!

You’ve tried everything and there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel?  The clouds just don’t seem to disappear? Get professional help! If your car breaks down, you probably wouldn’t repair it all by yourself. So when it comes down to your wellbeing and you feel like you’re burning out, don’t try to experiment on your own! Talk to your GP, to a specialist or join a support group, if you are not able to find the way out alone. Don’t slump; there is no reason to surrender! If you need help, go for it, it is all about yourself and your own life.

There is nothing wrong about feeling unhappy sometimes. But it is important to be aware of your situation and to look for a way out. If you manage to do this on your own or with the help of others, there is one thing you should never forget: Sunshine comes after the rain, always.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Is it wrong to feel unhappy?

Is it wrong to feel unhappy?
is it wrong to feel happy

Are you unhappy?

Do you have the feeling that your life could be better? Do you feel dejected, discouraged and unhappy at the moment? You see other people laughing; hear the kids playing in the backyard and happy faces are smiling at you all around? Are you feeling alienated in this environment as you are doing not well?

If this is how you feel right now, than you are probably going through hard times now and feel unhappy. What now?

No need to feel guilty

Don’t feel guilty! Everybody goes through a bad period from time to time and there’s always sunshine after the rain. If it would always be sunny, we would live in the desert. That’s why it is so important to accept, that humans need to have bad experiences too. No matter what it is; if something bad happened, your love life seems unfulfilled or you’ve lost a person who was close to you: only having a heart of steel could prevent us from being down sometimes. Therefore, it is completely normal to feel blue from time to time. There is no reason at all to feel guilty about it.

It’s temporarily

When a road goes downhill, it will eventually go uphill again. In the tale of Till Eulenspiegel (original: Dyl Ulenspegel) a hiker asks why he felt so well, even though climbing up the hill is such a burden. The answer was simple, he was happy to know that after climbing the hill, he could walk down again and it would be so much easier. Do it like Till Eulenspiegel, focus on the happy times that come after the dark period you’re going through right now!

You are not alone

Most people in this world are living in precarious conditions. Wars, disease, pollution and crime bring harm and suffer for many people in our world. Sometimes your own problems seem less problematic if you take a look at how other people are living and how unhappy – or better yet – how happy they still are. Suddenly your own situation might look less hopeless, you begin to develop more empathy for others and you will be able to look at your own situation more realistically.

Help others

This is directly connected to what you’ve just read. Engage yourself, go out and offer your help to those who have it worse than you. A residential home for the elderly, a children’s home or a hospice – a lot of institutions in your neighborhood or your local area could use your help. It is also possible to join a neighbors association, to help in a soup kitchen or support children in your neighborhood by helping them doing their homework. You will be surprised how much joy and gratefulness you will experience. And as a very nice side effect, your own unhappiness will disappear so much faster than by just sitting on your couch and watching TV.    

Stay active

People who are unhappy, depressed or down tend to isolate themselves from society. Nothing could be more wrong. Well, there is no need to put your evening dress while still having tears in your eyes either. But a short walk through the park in the fresh air, a bike trip around the corner or – if the weather is bad – having a coffee in a nice bar will help you to get back on track faster again. Exercise is the best thing you can do. Go for it and you’ll be amazed how a short run through the park or swimming a few meters in a pool will change your mood and your wellbeing for the better.

So don’t let yourself go, make plans to go out - as soon as you feel able to.

Pamper yourself

Do you remember the last time you did something nice just for yourself? Buying a new shirt, taking a hot bath or reading this book you’ve heard so much about – do you even remember the last time you did those things? The time is now! Switch off the TV, forget about your smartphone and just do something for yourself. Enjoy, relax and you will find new energy and vitality faster than you would expect. 

Don’t give up!

You’ve tried everything and there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel?  The clouds just don’t seem to disappear? Get professional help! If your car breaks down, you probably wouldn’t repair it all by yourself. So when it comes down to your wellbeing and you feel like you’re burning out, don’t try to experiment on your own! Talk to your GP, to a specialist or join a support group, if you are not able to find the way out alone. Don’t slump; there is no reason to surrender! If you need help, go for it, it is all about yourself and your own life.

There is nothing wrong about feeling unhappy sometimes. But it is important to be aware of your situation and to look for a way out. If you manage to do this on your own or with the help of others, there is one thing you should never forget: Sunshine comes after the rain, always.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Revealed The most important things in life

Revealed: The most important things in life

Do you believe that there are certain things you must achieve to be happy? Society teaches us that wealth, health, romantic love, and family are essential for happiness. But are these externals really the most important things in life?

Read the complete article

Mistakes as a Parent

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Read the complete article

Signs you're slipping into a burn-out

Signs you're slipping into a burn-out

Learn how to recognise the signs of stress and avoid slipping into a burnout or a bore-out

Read the complete article

How to break your bad habits

How to break your bad habits

Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?

Read the complete article

Dealing with British Summer Time

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Read the complete article

goede-voornemens

A new year, a new me

It’s such a positive thing to do and hope springs eternal, so why not commit yourself to a change this year? Here’s our tips on how to stick to your new year’s resolutions.

Read the complete article

Feeling blue

Feeling blue?

Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.

Read the complete article

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship? 

Read the complete article

How to deal with negative people

How to deal with negative people

Is someone bringing you down because of their negativity? Read our tips on how to deal with negative people and be a positive person yourself.

Read the complete article

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!

Read the complete article

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