Bach Flower Advice

Is it wrong to feel unhappy?

is it wrong to feel happy

Are you unhappy?

Do you have the feeling that your life could be better? Do you feel dejected, discouraged and unhappy at the moment? You see other people laughing; hear the kids playing in the backyard and happy faces are smiling at you all around? Are you feeling alienated in this environment as you are doing not well?

If this is how you feel right now, than you are probably going through hard times now and feel unhappy. What now?

No need to feel guilty

Don’t feel guilty! Everybody goes through a bad period from time to time and there’s always sunshine after the rain. If it would always be sunny, we would live in the desert. That’s why it is so important to accept, that humans need to have bad experiences too. No matter what it is; if something bad happened, your love life seems unfulfilled or you’ve lost a person who was close to you: only having a heart of steel could prevent us from being down sometimes. Therefore, it is completely normal to feel blue from time to time. There is no reason at all to feel guilty about it.

It’s temporarily

When a road goes downhill, it will eventually go uphill again. In the tale of Till Eulenspiegel (original: Dyl Ulenspegel) a hiker asks why he felt so well, even though climbing up the hill is such a burden. The answer was simple, he was happy to know that after climbing the hill, he could walk down again and it would be so much easier. Do it like Till Eulenspiegel, focus on the happy times that come after the dark period you’re going through right now!

You are not alone

Most people in this world are living in precarious conditions. Wars, disease, pollution and crime bring harm and suffer for many people in our world. Sometimes your own problems seem less problematic if you take a look at how other people are living and how unhappy – or better yet – how happy they still are. Suddenly your own situation might look less hopeless, you begin to develop more empathy for others and you will be able to look at your own situation more realistically.

Help others

This is directly connected to what you’ve just read. Engage yourself, go out and offer your help to those who have it worse than you. A residential home for the elderly, a children’s home or a hospice – a lot of institutions in your neighborhood or your local area could use your help. It is also possible to join a neighbors association, to help in a soup kitchen or support children in your neighborhood by helping them doing their homework. You will be surprised how much joy and gratefulness you will experience. And as a very nice side effect, your own unhappiness will disappear so much faster than by just sitting on your couch and watching TV.    

Stay active

People who are unhappy, depressed or down tend to isolate themselves from society. Nothing could be more wrong. Well, there is no need to put your evening dress while still having tears in your eyes either. But a short walk through the park in the fresh air, a bike trip around the corner or – if the weather is bad – having a coffee in a nice bar will help you to get back on track faster again. Exercise is the best thing you can do. Go for it and you’ll be amazed how a short run through the park or swimming a few meters in a pool will change your mood and your wellbeing for the better.

So don’t let yourself go, make plans to go out - as soon as you feel able to.

Pamper yourself

Do you remember the last time you did something nice just for yourself? Buying a new shirt, taking a hot bath or reading this book you’ve heard so much about – do you even remember the last time you did those things? The time is now! Switch off the TV, forget about your smartphone and just do something for yourself. Enjoy, relax and you will find new energy and vitality faster than you would expect. 

Don’t give up!

You’ve tried everything and there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel?  The clouds just don’t seem to disappear? Get professional help! If your car breaks down, you probably wouldn’t repair it all by yourself. So when it comes down to your wellbeing and you feel like you’re burning out, don’t try to experiment on your own! Talk to your GP, to a specialist or join a support group, if you are not able to find the way out alone. Don’t slump; there is no reason to surrender! If you need help, go for it, it is all about yourself and your own life.

There is nothing wrong about feeling unhappy sometimes. But it is important to be aware of your situation and to look for a way out. If you manage to do this on your own or with the help of others, there is one thing you should never forget: Sunshine comes after the rain, always.

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Is it wrong to feel unhappy?

Is it wrong to feel unhappy?
is it wrong to feel happy

Are you unhappy?

Do you have the feeling that your life could be better? Do you feel dejected, discouraged and unhappy at the moment? You see other people laughing; hear the kids playing in the backyard and happy faces are smiling at you all around? Are you feeling alienated in this environment as you are doing not well?

If this is how you feel right now, than you are probably going through hard times now and feel unhappy. What now?

No need to feel guilty

Don’t feel guilty! Everybody goes through a bad period from time to time and there’s always sunshine after the rain. If it would always be sunny, we would live in the desert. That’s why it is so important to accept, that humans need to have bad experiences too. No matter what it is; if something bad happened, your love life seems unfulfilled or you’ve lost a person who was close to you: only having a heart of steel could prevent us from being down sometimes. Therefore, it is completely normal to feel blue from time to time. There is no reason at all to feel guilty about it.

It’s temporarily

When a road goes downhill, it will eventually go uphill again. In the tale of Till Eulenspiegel (original: Dyl Ulenspegel) a hiker asks why he felt so well, even though climbing up the hill is such a burden. The answer was simple, he was happy to know that after climbing the hill, he could walk down again and it would be so much easier. Do it like Till Eulenspiegel, focus on the happy times that come after the dark period you’re going through right now!

You are not alone

Most people in this world are living in precarious conditions. Wars, disease, pollution and crime bring harm and suffer for many people in our world. Sometimes your own problems seem less problematic if you take a look at how other people are living and how unhappy – or better yet – how happy they still are. Suddenly your own situation might look less hopeless, you begin to develop more empathy for others and you will be able to look at your own situation more realistically.

Help others

This is directly connected to what you’ve just read. Engage yourself, go out and offer your help to those who have it worse than you. A residential home for the elderly, a children’s home or a hospice – a lot of institutions in your neighborhood or your local area could use your help. It is also possible to join a neighbors association, to help in a soup kitchen or support children in your neighborhood by helping them doing their homework. You will be surprised how much joy and gratefulness you will experience. And as a very nice side effect, your own unhappiness will disappear so much faster than by just sitting on your couch and watching TV.    

Stay active

People who are unhappy, depressed or down tend to isolate themselves from society. Nothing could be more wrong. Well, there is no need to put your evening dress while still having tears in your eyes either. But a short walk through the park in the fresh air, a bike trip around the corner or – if the weather is bad – having a coffee in a nice bar will help you to get back on track faster again. Exercise is the best thing you can do. Go for it and you’ll be amazed how a short run through the park or swimming a few meters in a pool will change your mood and your wellbeing for the better.

So don’t let yourself go, make plans to go out - as soon as you feel able to.

Pamper yourself

Do you remember the last time you did something nice just for yourself? Buying a new shirt, taking a hot bath or reading this book you’ve heard so much about – do you even remember the last time you did those things? The time is now! Switch off the TV, forget about your smartphone and just do something for yourself. Enjoy, relax and you will find new energy and vitality faster than you would expect. 

Don’t give up!

You’ve tried everything and there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel?  The clouds just don’t seem to disappear? Get professional help! If your car breaks down, you probably wouldn’t repair it all by yourself. So when it comes down to your wellbeing and you feel like you’re burning out, don’t try to experiment on your own! Talk to your GP, to a specialist or join a support group, if you are not able to find the way out alone. Don’t slump; there is no reason to surrender! If you need help, go for it, it is all about yourself and your own life.

There is nothing wrong about feeling unhappy sometimes. But it is important to be aware of your situation and to look for a way out. If you manage to do this on your own or with the help of others, there is one thing you should never forget: Sunshine comes after the rain, always.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Signs you're slipping into a burn-out

Signs you're slipping into a burn-out

Learn how to recognise the signs of stress and avoid slipping into a burnout or a bore-out

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

Almost at the end of your tether What to do

Almost at the end of your tether? What to do

Dawn’s breaking and you’ve barely slept all night. Instead of waking up ready to face the day, you feel as if you’ll never catch up with all the urgent stuff that needs doing. Stressful thoughts circle in your head, and you feel exhausted and burned out. Sounds familiar? You’re not alone!

Read the complete article

Who are the (surprisingly) happiest people in the world

Who are the (surprisingly) happiest people in the world?

For the third year running, Finland has come top of the World Happiness Report as the world's happiest country. The result might surprise anyone who believes that sunshine is an essential ingredient for happiness: the country sees only 8 hours of daylight during the depths of winter. Even some Finns think they don't deserve the win. So how accurate is the World Happiness Report and what's the secret of Finland's success?

Read the complete article

Do you 'Musturbate' too much

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".

Read the complete article

Is the world as we know it over

Is the world as we know it over?

Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.

Read the complete article

5 tips to survive autumn healthily

5 tips to survive autumn healthily

We simply can’t avoid noticing the changes all around us. Autumn is here... Autumn is also called a transitional season. Slowly and steadily, it prepares us for the transition...

Read the complete article

Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.

Read the complete article

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!

Read the complete article

Coping with life transitions

Struggling to cope with life transitions?

Are you struggling to cope with transitions in life? Read our article on signs and tips for coping with life transitions. 

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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