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Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love. It's rather that someone with narcissistic perversion, or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as it's often known, has a grandiose self-image. They love this image of themselves because it helps them to hide from a deep sense of insecurity.
Narcissistic perversion is characterised by arrogance, selfish behaviour and a lack of consideration and empathy with others. Narcissists can draw you in and be very charming in the early stages of a relationship. However, other people can often see them for what they are: manipulative, exploitative, selfish, demanding and patronising. This pattern of behaviour affects every aspect of a narcissist's existence, from love and family relationships to work and their friendship circle.
People with NPD have often suffered emotional trauma during their early years. To overcome this experience, they become disassociated from their emotions and creativity. They project their negative feelings onto others and seek to destroy them, never questioning their own actions. They always exploit and take advantage of others to achieve their goals.
Find out how to spot such patterns and make sure that a narcissistic pervert doesn't ruin your chance of a happy life. These are some of the signs to look out for:
The classic sign of a narcissist is their grandiosity. A narcissist is more than just arrogant; they have an innate (and unjustified) sense of their superiority. They will lie about their achievements and talents to appear impressive and will seek to associate only with others they perceive as being of high status.
A narcissist's grandiosity leads naturally to the second sign - a powerful sense of entitlement. Because a narcissist believes themself to be superior and unique, they always expect others to treat them favourably. Whatever they want, they should get - and without counting the cost to anyone else. You're only of value to a narcissist as long as you can meet their demands, and if you stand up to them and refuse, expect rage, aggression or the "silent treatment".
Their delusions of grandeur are underpinned by a fantasy world, in which they are brilliant, attractive and able to form ideal romantic relationships. Fantasising gives them a sense of being in control. If anyone challenges this fantasy bubble, the narcissist is likely to respond with extreme defensiveness and anger, so people often learn to tread carefully around their delusions.
The ego of a narcissist needs to be fed continuously with the praise and admiration of others. The odd compliment is never sufficient; there must be a continual stream of affirmation. The admiration is always one-sided - it's all about what you can do for the narcissist, never about what they can do for you. And if the compliments and praise diminish or cease for any reason, a narcissist will perceive it as a betrayal.
Narcissists are lacking in empathy and perceive other people only as objects who are there to meet their demands. They don't think twice about it and will take advantage of others without any sense of shame or guilt. In the more extreme cases of narcissistic perversion, this exploitation and lack of accountability may be malicious. More often, a narcissist is simply oblivious to the feelings of other people.
It can be tough to deal with a narcissist because they seek to undermine your autonomy and self-confidence. If you find yourself a victim of a narcissistic pervert, there are a few points to remember:
The narcissist doesn't respect you, so you must respect yourself. Bach Flowers Mix 77 helps you to be more resilient and assertive and to be able to say "No".
If you decide to challenge a narcissist, it's much more effective to do so in the presence of a third person who can back you up. Narcissists like to act secretly, without witnesses, so two people challenging them simultaneously will force them to confront their behaviour.
Narcissistic people thrive on drama and conflict. This behaviour often continues after a relationship ends, especially when you're forced to maintain contact because of children. Don't reward their unreasonable demands with the thrill and excitement of a row. Make yourself as dull and boring as you can, turning yourself into a "grey rock" that deflects attacks. If you don't reward the behaviour of a narcissist with the stimulation they seek, they may eventually learn to leave you alone.
It can be helpful to keep a journal and document their troubling actions. A narcissist will often isolate you from your family and friends. Try to let them know what's been going on, so they will be able to support you through this difficult time.
Leaving a narcissist is inevitably a very challenging process, so it's essential to look after yourself. Create your own Bach flower mix to support your emotions through stressful times. It reduces anxiety and stress, helps treat sleep problems and reduces the risk of panic attacks.
Sources:
https://worldcrunch.com/culture-society/power-and-seduction-how-the-narcissistic-pervert-always-gets-his-way#:~:text=The%20narcissistic%20pervert%20hates%20generosity,%22%20explains%20Marie%2DFrance%20Hirigoyen
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm.
https://humanperformancepsychology.com/how-to-deal-with-perverse-narcissistic-personality-disorder/
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love. It's rather that someone with narcissistic perversion, or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as it's often known, has a grandiose self-image. They love this image of themselves because it helps them to hide from a deep sense of insecurity.
Narcissistic perversion is characterised by arrogance, selfish behaviour and a lack of consideration and empathy with others. Narcissists can draw you in and be very charming in the early stages of a relationship. However, other people can often see them for what they are: manipulative, exploitative, selfish, demanding and patronising. This pattern of behaviour affects every aspect of a narcissist's existence, from love and family relationships to work and their friendship circle.
People with NPD have often suffered emotional trauma during their early years. To overcome this experience, they become disassociated from their emotions and creativity. They project their negative feelings onto others and seek to destroy them, never questioning their own actions. They always exploit and take advantage of others to achieve their goals.
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Find out how to spot such patterns and make sure that a narcissistic pervert doesn't ruin your chance of a happy life. These are some of the signs to look out for:
The classic sign of a narcissist is their grandiosity. A narcissist is more than just arrogant; they have an innate (and unjustified) sense of their superiority. They will lie about their achievements and talents to appear impressive and will seek to associate only with others they perceive as being of high status.
A narcissist's grandiosity leads naturally to the second sign - a powerful sense of entitlement. Because a narcissist believes themself to be superior and unique, they always expect others to treat them favourably. Whatever they want, they should get - and without counting the cost to anyone else. You're only of value to a narcissist as long as you can meet their demands, and if you stand up to them and refuse, expect rage, aggression or the "silent treatment".
Their delusions of grandeur are underpinned by a fantasy world, in which they are brilliant, attractive and able to form ideal romantic relationships. Fantasising gives them a sense of being in control. If anyone challenges this fantasy bubble, the narcissist is likely to respond with extreme defensiveness and anger, so people often learn to tread carefully around their delusions.
The ego of a narcissist needs to be fed continuously with the praise and admiration of others. The odd compliment is never sufficient; there must be a continual stream of affirmation. The admiration is always one-sided - it's all about what you can do for the narcissist, never about what they can do for you. And if the compliments and praise diminish or cease for any reason, a narcissist will perceive it as a betrayal.
Narcissists are lacking in empathy and perceive other people only as objects who are there to meet their demands. They don't think twice about it and will take advantage of others without any sense of shame or guilt. In the more extreme cases of narcissistic perversion, this exploitation and lack of accountability may be malicious. More often, a narcissist is simply oblivious to the feelings of other people.
It can be tough to deal with a narcissist because they seek to undermine your autonomy and self-confidence. If you find yourself a victim of a narcissistic pervert, there are a few points to remember:
The narcissist doesn't respect you, so you must respect yourself. Bach Flowers Mix 77 helps you to be more resilient and assertive and to be able to say "No".
If you decide to challenge a narcissist, it's much more effective to do so in the presence of a third person who can back you up. Narcissists like to act secretly, without witnesses, so two people challenging them simultaneously will force them to confront their behaviour.
Narcissistic people thrive on drama and conflict. This behaviour often continues after a relationship ends, especially when you're forced to maintain contact because of children. Don't reward their unreasonable demands with the thrill and excitement of a row. Make yourself as dull and boring as you can, turning yourself into a "grey rock" that deflects attacks. If you don't reward the behaviour of a narcissist with the stimulation they seek, they may eventually learn to leave you alone.
It can be helpful to keep a journal and document their troubling actions. A narcissist will often isolate you from your family and friends. Try to let them know what's been going on, so they will be able to support you through this difficult time.
Leaving a narcissist is inevitably a very challenging process, so it's essential to look after yourself. Create your own Bach flower mix to support your emotions through stressful times. It reduces anxiety and stress, helps treat sleep problems and reduces the risk of panic attacks.
Sources:
https://worldcrunch.com/culture-society/power-and-seduction-how-the-narcissistic-pervert-always-gets-his-way#:~:text=The%20narcissistic%20pervert%20hates%20generosity,%22%20explains%20Marie%2DFrance%20Hirigoyen
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm.
https://humanperformancepsychology.com/how-to-deal-with-perverse-narcissistic-personality-disorder/
For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?
Read the complete article
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Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.
After 25 years in the Bach flower world, we asked ourselves, is now the right time for our own new name? Not only have we grown, but so have you, along with the confidence you have in us. That's why we want to connect ourselves to our own name. That name is Mariepure.
Everyone is unique, even in their own bad habits or negative traits. Here are some tips to balance those negative traits in our new article!
It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.
Learn how to recognise the signs of stress and avoid slipping into a burnout or a bore-out
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice.
Read the complete article
While you often hear people joking that they have OCD because they like to keep their house clean and tidy, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be a distressing and debilitating mental health condition with a wide range of symptoms.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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