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Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love. It's rather that someone with narcissistic perversion, or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as it's often known, has a grandiose self-image. They love this image of themselves because it helps them to hide from a deep sense of insecurity.
Narcissistic perversion is characterised by arrogance, selfish behaviour and a lack of consideration and empathy with others. Narcissists can draw you in and be very charming in the early stages of a relationship. However, other people can often see them for what they are: manipulative, exploitative, selfish, demanding and patronising. This pattern of behaviour affects every aspect of a narcissist's existence, from love and family relationships to work and their friendship circle.
People with NPD have often suffered emotional trauma during their early years. To overcome this experience, they become disassociated from their emotions and creativity. They project their negative feelings onto others and seek to destroy them, never questioning their own actions. They always exploit and take advantage of others to achieve their goals.
Find out how to spot such patterns and make sure that a narcissistic pervert doesn't ruin your chance of a happy life. These are some of the signs to look out for:
The classic sign of a narcissist is their grandiosity. A narcissist is more than just arrogant; they have an innate (and unjustified) sense of their superiority. They will lie about their achievements and talents to appear impressive and will seek to associate only with others they perceive as being of high status.
A narcissist's grandiosity leads naturally to the second sign - a powerful sense of entitlement. Because a narcissist believes themself to be superior and unique, they always expect others to treat them favourably. Whatever they want, they should get - and without counting the cost to anyone else. You're only of value to a narcissist as long as you can meet their demands, and if you stand up to them and refuse, expect rage, aggression or the "silent treatment".
Their delusions of grandeur are underpinned by a fantasy world, in which they are brilliant, attractive and able to form ideal romantic relationships. Fantasising gives them a sense of being in control. If anyone challenges this fantasy bubble, the narcissist is likely to respond with extreme defensiveness and anger, so people often learn to tread carefully around their delusions.
The ego of a narcissist needs to be fed continuously with the praise and admiration of others. The odd compliment is never sufficient; there must be a continual stream of affirmation. The admiration is always one-sided - it's all about what you can do for the narcissist, never about what they can do for you. And if the compliments and praise diminish or cease for any reason, a narcissist will perceive it as a betrayal.
Narcissists are lacking in empathy and perceive other people only as objects who are there to meet their demands. They don't think twice about it and will take advantage of others without any sense of shame or guilt. In the more extreme cases of narcissistic perversion, this exploitation and lack of accountability may be malicious. More often, a narcissist is simply oblivious to the feelings of other people.
It can be tough to deal with a narcissist because they seek to undermine your autonomy and self-confidence. If you find yourself a victim of a narcissistic pervert, there are a few points to remember:
The narcissist doesn't respect you, so you must respect yourself. Bach Flowers Mix 77 helps you to be more resilient and assertive and to be able to say "No".
If you decide to challenge a narcissist, it's much more effective to do so in the presence of a third person who can back you up. Narcissists like to act secretly, without witnesses, so two people challenging them simultaneously will force them to confront their behaviour.
Narcissistic people thrive on drama and conflict. This behaviour often continues after a relationship ends, especially when you're forced to maintain contact because of children. Don't reward their unreasonable demands with the thrill and excitement of a row. Make yourself as dull and boring as you can, turning yourself into a "grey rock" that deflects attacks. If you don't reward the behaviour of a narcissist with the stimulation they seek, they may eventually learn to leave you alone.
It can be helpful to keep a journal and document their troubling actions. A narcissist will often isolate you from your family and friends. Try to let them know what's been going on, so they will be able to support you through this difficult time.
Leaving a narcissist is inevitably a very challenging process, so it's essential to look after yourself. Create your own Bach flower mix to support your emotions through stressful times. It reduces anxiety and stress, helps treat sleep problems and reduces the risk of panic attacks.
Sources:
https://worldcrunch.com/culture-society/power-and-seduction-how-the-narcissistic-pervert-always-gets-his-way#:~:text=The%20narcissistic%20pervert%20hates%20generosity,%22%20explains%20Marie%2DFrance%20Hirigoyen
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm.
https://humanperformancepsychology.com/how-to-deal-with-perverse-narcissistic-personality-disorder/
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love. It's rather that someone with narcissistic perversion, or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as it's often known, has a grandiose self-image. They love this image of themselves because it helps them to hide from a deep sense of insecurity.
Narcissistic perversion is characterised by arrogance, selfish behaviour and a lack of consideration and empathy with others. Narcissists can draw you in and be very charming in the early stages of a relationship. However, other people can often see them for what they are: manipulative, exploitative, selfish, demanding and patronising. This pattern of behaviour affects every aspect of a narcissist's existence, from love and family relationships to work and their friendship circle.
People with NPD have often suffered emotional trauma during their early years. To overcome this experience, they become disassociated from their emotions and creativity. They project their negative feelings onto others and seek to destroy them, never questioning their own actions. They always exploit and take advantage of others to achieve their goals.
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Find out how to spot such patterns and make sure that a narcissistic pervert doesn't ruin your chance of a happy life. These are some of the signs to look out for:
The classic sign of a narcissist is their grandiosity. A narcissist is more than just arrogant; they have an innate (and unjustified) sense of their superiority. They will lie about their achievements and talents to appear impressive and will seek to associate only with others they perceive as being of high status.
A narcissist's grandiosity leads naturally to the second sign - a powerful sense of entitlement. Because a narcissist believes themself to be superior and unique, they always expect others to treat them favourably. Whatever they want, they should get - and without counting the cost to anyone else. You're only of value to a narcissist as long as you can meet their demands, and if you stand up to them and refuse, expect rage, aggression or the "silent treatment".
Their delusions of grandeur are underpinned by a fantasy world, in which they are brilliant, attractive and able to form ideal romantic relationships. Fantasising gives them a sense of being in control. If anyone challenges this fantasy bubble, the narcissist is likely to respond with extreme defensiveness and anger, so people often learn to tread carefully around their delusions.
The ego of a narcissist needs to be fed continuously with the praise and admiration of others. The odd compliment is never sufficient; there must be a continual stream of affirmation. The admiration is always one-sided - it's all about what you can do for the narcissist, never about what they can do for you. And if the compliments and praise diminish or cease for any reason, a narcissist will perceive it as a betrayal.
Narcissists are lacking in empathy and perceive other people only as objects who are there to meet their demands. They don't think twice about it and will take advantage of others without any sense of shame or guilt. In the more extreme cases of narcissistic perversion, this exploitation and lack of accountability may be malicious. More often, a narcissist is simply oblivious to the feelings of other people.
It can be tough to deal with a narcissist because they seek to undermine your autonomy and self-confidence. If you find yourself a victim of a narcissistic pervert, there are a few points to remember:
The narcissist doesn't respect you, so you must respect yourself. Bach Flowers Mix 77 helps you to be more resilient and assertive and to be able to say "No".
If you decide to challenge a narcissist, it's much more effective to do so in the presence of a third person who can back you up. Narcissists like to act secretly, without witnesses, so two people challenging them simultaneously will force them to confront their behaviour.
Narcissistic people thrive on drama and conflict. This behaviour often continues after a relationship ends, especially when you're forced to maintain contact because of children. Don't reward their unreasonable demands with the thrill and excitement of a row. Make yourself as dull and boring as you can, turning yourself into a "grey rock" that deflects attacks. If you don't reward the behaviour of a narcissist with the stimulation they seek, they may eventually learn to leave you alone.
It can be helpful to keep a journal and document their troubling actions. A narcissist will often isolate you from your family and friends. Try to let them know what's been going on, so they will be able to support you through this difficult time.
Leaving a narcissist is inevitably a very challenging process, so it's essential to look after yourself. Create your own Bach flower mix to support your emotions through stressful times. It reduces anxiety and stress, helps treat sleep problems and reduces the risk of panic attacks.
Sources:
https://worldcrunch.com/culture-society/power-and-seduction-how-the-narcissistic-pervert-always-gets-his-way#:~:text=The%20narcissistic%20pervert%20hates%20generosity,%22%20explains%20Marie%2DFrance%20Hirigoyen
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm.
https://humanperformancepsychology.com/how-to-deal-with-perverse-narcissistic-personality-disorder/
Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Read the complete article
There's so much contradictory health advice out there, it gets confusing. One year, butter is said to be bad for you, and margarine is better. The following year, it's the other way around. One article says running causes strain on your joints; another says it's good for you because it increases bone strength.
What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.
Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
Do you have enough resilience to face the world out there? Take our quiz to find out how resilient you are and find tips on how to build your mental resilience.
Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety affect around 1 in 6 people at some stage of their life. Despite it being such a common problem, many sufferers wait months or even years before seeking help.
Everyone is unique, even in their own bad habits or negative traits. Here are some tips to balance those negative traits in our new article!
When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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