The sense of feeling lost in your life can be a very painful experience. Regardless of whether you feel lost in a relationship, at work, or elsewhere, you can rest assured that you’re not the first person to feel this way.
Ultimately, it is possible to take something positive from what you are feeling and move forward. Use this time as a springboard for change in your life. This is a period of transformation, so use it to your advantage.
At some stage all of us will be feeling the way that you do now. Some of us will have the feeling we are ‘lost’ at key moments throughout our life. We look around at everyone else and think they have it so much better and assume everyone else knows what they are doing and where they are going. This is not the case. We can never know what another person is going through or has gone through. Why not share your feelings with a few friends and see what sort of experiences they have had?
It often happens that we don’t feel like we’re in control of our life. This can happen for a variety of reasons. The thing to remember however is that you are not a victim. You can choose your attitude and your reactions. How you feel is up to you. Do not be a passive bystander in your life. Make changes. Ultimately you decide on the direction you need to go in next.
If you suddenly find yourself wallowing in a miasma of despair, and you’re uncertain of what your life is about, take heart! Here’s the best chance you’ll ever be offered to create new meaning in your life and take a new direction.
Sometimes you need to take a time out of your life and discover what it is that your mind is trying to tell you. Spending time alone, perhaps on a long walk, or a journey, can really help you pin down what’s going on. You can only read the signs of your own heart’s desire if you stop to read them. If you can slow your life down enough you will hear the messages that apply to you, and you can take action on where to go from here, or not, it’s up to you.
Feeling lost can stem from the fact that other people don’t seem to approve of you, what you do or what you say. Forget them. You shouldn’t need the approval of others to validate yourself. The way others judge us, says more about them than it does about us. If you have lived your life based on what other people believe is right, then of course you will have lost the very essence of who you are. You cannot craft your life based on the belief and value systems that others hold, or try to foist on you.
You may have started out trying to be one thing, but ended up as something else. Perhaps you still hanker after a dream or an ambition from when you were younger. Don’t be down about it, it’s fabulous actually. There’s no time like the present to consider who you are and acknowledge the experiences and skills you have. Once that’s done, you can look at where to go next, and maybe you still have time to write your novel, set up a bakery or climb Everest! Life is all about change, and if you’ve come to a crossroads, you can make that change right now.
We all make mistakes and we learn from them and move on. Mistakes help us to grow as human beings. Don’t label yourself - acknowledge that who you will be tomorrow can be very different from who you are today or who you were yesterday.
Can you remember what it is that makes your eyes light up and your heart burst with happiness? It may be a long time since you were in touch with your passions, but perhaps it’s time you did. Stop making excuses about the time not being right because the time will never be right unless you make it so. The time is now, so get on with it!
If life has become stuck in a rut, there is no time like the present to do something completely new. Think up some new ambitions and go for it. You may be 50 years’ old and in a secure job, but if you’ve always wanted to backpack around Asia, what’s to stop you doing that? OK, perhaps an extended trip is out of the question, but you could still have a weekend away somewhere you’ve never been before and explore a new town. In order to create new meaning and direction in life, it is sometimes necessary to take risks.
Sometimes this feeling is too big for one person. If you would benefit from talking to someone else about how lost you feel, do reach out for help. You could speak to your doctor, a life coach, a counsellor or a friend. Be open to suggestions and guidance and take your time to find what is right for you. It will be worth the effort!
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