How to spice up your life

Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.

The feeling can build up gradually, and you feel like you're just killing time rather than working towards a goal. You might not even notice at first that you're stagnating - here are some signs that you might be getting stuck in a rut:

• You may find it hard to remember which day of the week it is because they all feel the same.
• You never feel excited or inspired - you're just getting through your days.
• You'd like to take up a new hobby or creative task but lack motivation and keep putting it off.
• Your life feels boring, dull and unfulfilling, but you don't know how to change things.
• You fear moving out of your comfort zone and worry about the risk of failure.

If you recognise these signs, the first step is to work out what's causing your dissatisfaction. Not every rut is the same - you may be in a rut with your job or feeling bored in a relationship. Friendships, hobbies, your home and your health, can all cause you to feel dissatisfied.

Don't blame yourself

Once you have understood the cause of your feelings, don't blame or criticise yourself. It can be all too easy to minimise the problem and trivialise your emotions. You have a right to feel the way you do - while things may seem OK to others, if you want more from life, it's time to make some changes!

Take Care of Yourself

Self-compassion is the key to mental well-being, so start by looking after yourself.

Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating well and exercising? Do you spend time with people who can support you?

If something is missing, look for ways to care for yourself better. Looking after your well-being will give you the energy to move forward and feel excited about life again.

Change your routines

We're creatures of habit, and sometimes feeling stuck in a rut arises out of boredom. So try to change things up a bit - they don't have to be massive changes, just a few small steps to get you started. Here are a few ideas to add zest to your life:

Try something new

Watch a new show, sign up for a class or walk a different way to work.

Start a conversation

You will learn something new about those around you, and chatting with different people will expand your social circle.

Have fun

Schedule some time to have fun doing something you love - a hobby, a sport or spending time with friends.

Live in the moment

Be spontaneous, and don't be afraid of doing unexpected things.

Spend time outdoors

Research has shown that spending time outside increases mental well-being. For example, walking can lower stress and break the pattern of ruminating on negative thoughts that can trigger depression. In addition, it's an excellent way to build regular exercise into your daily routine.

Studies also show that being outside in nature also boosts creativity. So the next time you feel stuck, go outdoors and pay attention to the world. Let go of negativity, relax and enjoy the beauty around you. You will return to your desk with renewed energy.

Find things to look forward to

It's easy to feel life is unfulfilling when you're not looking forward to anything. Having a sense of purpose is a crucial ingredient for motivation. For example, long-term goals related to your relationships or job can give you a sense of purpose. And it doesn't have to be anything major - even planning a get-together at the weekend gives you something to look forward to and boosts your mood.

And research shows that having something to aim for builds self-control and willpower. Better resilience helps you to cope with stresses and challenges in everyday life while you look forward to future rewards.

Here are some ideas for giving yourself things you can look forward to:

Make plans

You can look forward to existing events, such as Christmas or a football match. But you can also intentionally make plans for yourself. For example, schedule a day out with friends or a holiday to a new place. Create things you can anticipate and be excited about.

Don't forget small rewards

Small weekly or daily rewards, such as going to your favourite cafe at lunchtime or buying yourself some flowers, are great ways to build a sense of looking forward to the future.

Volunteer to help others

Helping others is an excellent way to gain a sense of purpose and meaning in life. Focus on helping a loved one with a project, participate in political activism or volunteer with a local organisation to contribute to the community.

A final thought - over to you!

Whether you're dissatisfied with your job, your relationships, or the place you live, only you can take action to make things more exciting and lose that feeling of being stuck in a rut.

You probably already know why you feel unfulfilled and want more out of life. So start to make small changes, chipping away at whatever holds you back. Don't feel guilty; you have a right to get the most out of life. But only you can take action to fulfil your potential, regain your optimism and get your life fizzing again.

Sources:

https://www.royalcornwall.nhs.uk/services/pain/pain-management-service/how-can-i-start-to-prioritise-my-self-care/

https://www.psychalive.org/i-hate-my-life/

Other articles

Hiding a depression: find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this

It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!

Can you accept things you can't change? Take our quiz!

Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!

Are you stuck in a rut?

Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".

Are most people good or bad?

Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!

Do you think too much? Or too little?

Feel like you overthink too much? Having a hard time making decisions? Or feel like you don’t consider your options enough? Find out how to strike a balance.

How can I help my child achieve their dreams?

Children's imaginations know no limits and their dreams are a mix of hopes and fantasies, the real and the magical, the impossible and the achievable.

Feeling blue?

Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.

Subtle signs your child is unhappy

According to figures from the World Health Organisation, more than 260 million people worldwide suffer from depression. And it's not only adults who are diagnosed with this illness. Children as young as three or four years old can experience depression.

Simple tips to not be afraid of the future

No one knows what the future holds, so don't waste time and energy worrying about it. Read our tips and find out how to stop being afraid of what might never happen.