Why it's important not to care about what others think

Why it's important not to care about what others think
Why it's important not to care about what others think

People care too much about what others think, even if they claim they do not. Do people really think about others so often? Whose opinion matters most when it's about to you? Yours! So why do people crave the judgments of others? We will explain and discuss the most frequent reasons in this article.

Low self-esteem

People with a low self-esteem tend to overrate other people’s opinions. Because they doubt their own capacities, they constantly look for the reassurance of others. This doesn’t help very much, as other people have other values, other lives and other experiences. Their judgements might therefore be misleading. What is good for one person does not need to be the best for another person. That’s why it is so important to trust in his own capacities and judgements instead of relying on other people’s opinions.

Low self-confidence

You had some bad experiences in the past or you made some bad decisions which you are regretting now? This can lead to the situation, that you lose the trust in your own decisions, meaning you do not trust yourself anymore. But when you take a look around, who else knows you better than yourself? Exactly, there is nobody. So if you made some mistakes in the past, it doesn’t mean that everything you do is wrong. It just proves that you are making mistakes. Mistakes are the best way to learn. So you should feel stronger after every mistake you made, every failure you experienced. Of course there is nothing wrong about asking other people about their opinions or advice, but don’t forget that you are the captain - This is your life!

Missing experiences

When we start a new job, begin a new sport or we arrive in a new community, we are sometimes unsure how to act or react in this new environment. We ask other people for help, to explain or to introduce us. But this does not free us from the fact that we all need to make our own experiences. That’s why it’s good to learn from other people, but it’s wrong to take over their evaluations or opinions. We have to make our own experiences, no matter if they do or do not match with those from others.

Poor social life and isolation

If somebody has a tendency to isolate himself, this can lead to a decreased social life and rare contacts to other people. In these types of situations, there is a danger of losing connection to the world around us. As our contacts with other people become fewer, as higher is the barrier for a comeback to social life. The same problem occurs sometimes after a breakup or a failed relationship. When the period of grievance finishes, we may feel like kids exploring a new world, we have to learn how to chat with strangers again, how to go out again, how to connect with new people. It is important to remember in these situations, that even if your relationship failed, this does not mean automatically that you have failed as a person. That’s why you should remember your capacities, instead of being stuck in the negative environment you may come from. We have to leave isolation behind; we have to go out and enjoy life again – we don’t need to update our problems from the past.

Idols

Many people have idols or role models they like to follow. They dress like their idols, they try to behave the same way and they tend to compare their own lives with the life of their role model. This can be very depressing, as we usually choose our role models in very successful or famous people. Do our idols bring the trash out, wash the dishes and clean their toilets the same way like we do? Probably not, but we don’t know it. The thing is, when we constantly compare ourselves with other people, disappointments are guaranteed. Because we only see pictures, or movies, we cannot look behind the scenes. Maybe our idol suffers from depression, and still we see those happy shiny pictures on social media? Do not compare yourself with others! Live your own life, take care of your own stuff and maybe you will be luckier one day than your role model has ever been!

Social norms and expectations

Do you have a Smartphone? Can you imagine living without it? It may sound weird, but just 15 years ago nobody on our planet Earth had a Smartphone at all. This example illustrates, that things we need, things we buy and things we miss are directly related to the things which other people have. We cannot free ourselves from social norms and expectations. On the other hand, not everything fits to us. Don’t lose contact to the world around you, keep your eyes and mind open. Is a new trend something for you? Who knows best but you? At the end of the day, you make the decision and not society. But to be able to make this decision, you should know what the others are talking about. Therefore, a minimal participation on social life is always necessary.

It’s a good thing to know the world around us, other people’s opinions and to learn from them. But when it comes to your own life, the most qualified person is still you! Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; don’t fear the judgment of other people, because you are the only one in charge!

Share
Marie Pure

Other articles


verleden-loslaten

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Read the complete article

5 tips to survive autumn healthily

5 tips to survive autumn healthily

We simply can’t avoid noticing the changes all around us. Autumn is here... Autumn is also called a transitional season. Slowly and steadily, it prepares us for the transition...

Read the complete article

tips to deal with procrastination

Are you a procrastinator? Don’t procrastinate and do something about it!

Your list of chores to be done gets longer and longer, and your stress levels get higher, which makes you feel unhappy! Deal with your procrastination today, with these 7 tips

Read the complete article

How to stay young

How to stay young

Want to know how to take better care of yourself now you’re more mature? Read our top ten tips on how to stay young and see if they’ll help!

Read the complete article

Banning negativity from your life Start today

Banning negativity from your life: Start today

Is life getting you down? Negativity can ruin your outlook and stop your productivity. What about banning negativity from your life? Start today.

Read the complete article

Coping with life transitions

Struggling to cope with life transitions?

Are you struggling to cope with transitions in life? Read our article on signs and tips for coping with life transitions. 

Read the complete article

How to do and have less but enjoy life more

How to do and have less but enjoy life more

How to do and have less but enjoy life more? Have you ever stopped to consider the ways in which you can do less with your life and still enjoy it? This articles aims to take a closer look at how you can consume less, do less and work less. Read on for more information.

Read the complete article

What to eliminate from your life to  be happier

What to eliminate from your life to be happier

Do you have a nagging suspicion that you could only be happier if X was true, or you could do Y? What should you change about your life in order to be happier?

Read the complete article

Are you healthy DIY test

Are you healthy? DIY test

Staying healthy as we get older is vitally important. Are you healthy? Take our DIY test and look out for points of concern. Take action now.

Read the complete article

6 ways to add some sunshine to your life

6 ways to add some sunshine to your life

Don’t let your mood depend on the weather, and instead create some sunshine in your life with the following tips.

Read the complete article

Free personal advice for your problem?

Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.

tom vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch

Yes, I want free advice

No thanks, I will do my own research