People care too much about what others think, even if they claim they do not. Do people really think about others so often? Whose opinion matters most when it's about to you? Yours! So why do people crave the judgments of others? We will explain and discuss the most frequent reasons in this article.
People with a low self-esteem tend to overrate other people’s opinions. Because they doubt their own capacities, they constantly look for the reassurance of others. This doesn’t help very much, as other people have other values, other lives and other experiences. Their judgements might therefore be misleading. What is good for one person does not need to be the best for another person. That’s why it is so important to trust in his own capacities and judgements instead of relying on other people’s opinions.
You had some bad experiences in the past or you made some bad decisions which you are regretting now? This can lead to the situation, that you lose the trust in your own decisions, meaning you do not trust yourself anymore. But when you take a look around, who else knows you better than yourself? Exactly, there is nobody. So if you made some mistakes in the past, it doesn’t mean that everything you do is wrong. It just proves that you are making mistakes. Mistakes are the best way to learn. So you should feel stronger after every mistake you made, every failure you experienced. Of course there is nothing wrong about asking other people about their opinions or advice, but don’t forget that you are the captain - This is your life!
When we start a new job, begin a new sport or we arrive in a new community, we are sometimes unsure how to act or react in this new environment. We ask other people for help, to explain or to introduce us. But this does not free us from the fact that we all need to make our own experiences. That’s why it’s good to learn from other people, but it’s wrong to take over their evaluations or opinions. We have to make our own experiences, no matter if they do or do not match with those from others.
If somebody has a tendency to isolate himself, this can lead to a decreased social life and rare contacts to other people. In these types of situations, there is a danger of losing connection to the world around us. As our contacts with other people become fewer, as higher is the barrier for a comeback to social life. The same problem occurs sometimes after a breakup or a failed relationship. When the period of grievance finishes, we may feel like kids exploring a new world, we have to learn how to chat with strangers again, how to go out again, how to connect with new people. It is important to remember in these situations, that even if your relationship failed, this does not mean automatically that you have failed as a person. That’s why you should remember your capacities, instead of being stuck in the negative environment you may come from. We have to leave isolation behind; we have to go out and enjoy life again – we don’t need to update our problems from the past.
Many people have idols or role models they like to follow. They dress like their idols, they try to behave the same way and they tend to compare their own lives with the life of their role model. This can be very depressing, as we usually choose our role models in very successful or famous people. Do our idols bring the trash out, wash the dishes and clean their toilets the same way like we do? Probably not, but we don’t know it. The thing is, when we constantly compare ourselves with other people, disappointments are guaranteed. Because we only see pictures, or movies, we cannot look behind the scenes. Maybe our idol suffers from depression, and still we see those happy shiny pictures on social media? Do not compare yourself with others! Live your own life, take care of your own stuff and maybe you will be luckier one day than your role model has ever been!
Do you have a Smartphone? Can you imagine living without it? It may sound weird, but just 15 years ago nobody on our planet Earth had a Smartphone at all. This example illustrates, that things we need, things we buy and things we miss are directly related to the things which other people have. We cannot free ourselves from social norms and expectations. On the other hand, not everything fits to us. Don’t lose contact to the world around you, keep your eyes and mind open. Is a new trend something for you? Who knows best but you? At the end of the day, you make the decision and not society. But to be able to make this decision, you should know what the others are talking about. Therefore, a minimal participation on social life is always necessary.
It’s a good thing to know the world around us, other people’s opinions and to learn from them. But when it comes to your own life, the most qualified person is still you! Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; don’t fear the judgment of other people, because you are the only one in charge!
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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People care too much about what others think, even if they claim they do not. Do people really think about others so often? Whose opinion matters most when it's about to you? Yours! So why do people crave the judgments of others? We will explain and discuss the most frequent reasons in this article.
People with a low self-esteem tend to overrate other people’s opinions. Because they doubt their own capacities, they constantly look for the reassurance of others. This doesn’t help very much, as other people have other values, other lives and other experiences. Their judgements might therefore be misleading. What is good for one person does not need to be the best for another person. That’s why it is so important to trust in his own capacities and judgements instead of relying on other people’s opinions.
You had some bad experiences in the past or you made some bad decisions which you are regretting now? This can lead to the situation, that you lose the trust in your own decisions, meaning you do not trust yourself anymore. But when you take a look around, who else knows you better than yourself? Exactly, there is nobody. So if you made some mistakes in the past, it doesn’t mean that everything you do is wrong. It just proves that you are making mistakes. Mistakes are the best way to learn. So you should feel stronger after every mistake you made, every failure you experienced. Of course there is nothing wrong about asking other people about their opinions or advice, but don’t forget that you are the captain - This is your life!
When we start a new job, begin a new sport or we arrive in a new community, we are sometimes unsure how to act or react in this new environment. We ask other people for help, to explain or to introduce us. But this does not free us from the fact that we all need to make our own experiences. That’s why it’s good to learn from other people, but it’s wrong to take over their evaluations or opinions. We have to make our own experiences, no matter if they do or do not match with those from others.
If somebody has a tendency to isolate himself, this can lead to a decreased social life and rare contacts to other people. In these types of situations, there is a danger of losing connection to the world around us. As our contacts with other people become fewer, as higher is the barrier for a comeback to social life. The same problem occurs sometimes after a breakup or a failed relationship. When the period of grievance finishes, we may feel like kids exploring a new world, we have to learn how to chat with strangers again, how to go out again, how to connect with new people. It is important to remember in these situations, that even if your relationship failed, this does not mean automatically that you have failed as a person. That’s why you should remember your capacities, instead of being stuck in the negative environment you may come from. We have to leave isolation behind; we have to go out and enjoy life again – we don’t need to update our problems from the past.
Many people have idols or role models they like to follow. They dress like their idols, they try to behave the same way and they tend to compare their own lives with the life of their role model. This can be very depressing, as we usually choose our role models in very successful or famous people. Do our idols bring the trash out, wash the dishes and clean their toilets the same way like we do? Probably not, but we don’t know it. The thing is, when we constantly compare ourselves with other people, disappointments are guaranteed. Because we only see pictures, or movies, we cannot look behind the scenes. Maybe our idol suffers from depression, and still we see those happy shiny pictures on social media? Do not compare yourself with others! Live your own life, take care of your own stuff and maybe you will be luckier one day than your role model has ever been!
Do you have a Smartphone? Can you imagine living without it? It may sound weird, but just 15 years ago nobody on our planet Earth had a Smartphone at all. This example illustrates, that things we need, things we buy and things we miss are directly related to the things which other people have. We cannot free ourselves from social norms and expectations. On the other hand, not everything fits to us. Don’t lose contact to the world around you, keep your eyes and mind open. Is a new trend something for you? Who knows best but you? At the end of the day, you make the decision and not society. But to be able to make this decision, you should know what the others are talking about. Therefore, a minimal participation on social life is always necessary.
It’s a good thing to know the world around us, other people’s opinions and to learn from them. But when it comes to your own life, the most qualified person is still you! Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; don’t fear the judgment of other people, because you are the only one in charge!
Negative thinking can hold you back from making a success of your life and achieving your dreams. It also has a significant effect on both our physical and mental health; research has demonstrated that people who have negative thought patterns experience fewer opportunities and more stress and physical illness.
How to do and have less but enjoy life more? Have you ever stopped to consider the ways in which you can do less with your life and still enjoy it? This articles aims to take a closer look at how you can consume less, do less and work less. Read on for more information.
Motivation can be somewhat elusive - some days, you just can't seem to make yourself do the stuff you don't want to. But putting things off just leads to stress, frustration and a sense of guilt.
Staying healthy as we get older is vitally important. Are you healthy? Take our DIY test and look out for points of concern. Take action now.
Is life getting you down? Negativity can ruin your outlook and stop your productivity. What about banning negativity from your life? Start today.
Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.
Read the complete article
Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.
Read the complete article
Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
Read the complete article
Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!
Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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