People care too much about what others think, even if they claim they do not. Do people really think about others so often? Whose opinion matters most when it's about to you? Yours! So why do people crave the judgments of others? We will explain and discuss the most frequent reasons in this article.
People with a low self-esteem tend to overrate other people’s opinions. Because they doubt their own capacities, they constantly look for the reassurance of others. This doesn’t help very much, as other people have other values, other lives and other experiences. Their judgements might therefore be misleading. What is good for one person does not need to be the best for another person. That’s why it is so important to trust in his own capacities and judgements instead of relying on other people’s opinions.
You had some bad experiences in the past or you made some bad decisions which you are regretting now? This can lead to the situation, that you lose the trust in your own decisions, meaning you do not trust yourself anymore. But when you take a look around, who else knows you better than yourself? Exactly, there is nobody. So if you made some mistakes in the past, it doesn’t mean that everything you do is wrong. It just proves that you are making mistakes. Mistakes are the best way to learn. So you should feel stronger after every mistake you made, every failure you experienced. Of course there is nothing wrong about asking other people about their opinions or advice, but don’t forget that you are the captain - This is your life!
When we start a new job, begin a new sport or we arrive in a new community, we are sometimes unsure how to act or react in this new environment. We ask other people for help, to explain or to introduce us. But this does not free us from the fact that we all need to make our own experiences. That’s why it’s good to learn from other people, but it’s wrong to take over their evaluations or opinions. We have to make our own experiences, no matter if they do or do not match with those from others.
If somebody has a tendency to isolate himself, this can lead to a decreased social life and rare contacts to other people. In these types of situations, there is a danger of losing connection to the world around us. As our contacts with other people become fewer, as higher is the barrier for a comeback to social life. The same problem occurs sometimes after a breakup or a failed relationship. When the period of grievance finishes, we may feel like kids exploring a new world, we have to learn how to chat with strangers again, how to go out again, how to connect with new people. It is important to remember in these situations, that even if your relationship failed, this does not mean automatically that you have failed as a person. That’s why you should remember your capacities, instead of being stuck in the negative environment you may come from. We have to leave isolation behind; we have to go out and enjoy life again – we don’t need to update our problems from the past.
Many people have idols or role models they like to follow. They dress like their idols, they try to behave the same way and they tend to compare their own lives with the life of their role model. This can be very depressing, as we usually choose our role models in very successful or famous people. Do our idols bring the trash out, wash the dishes and clean their toilets the same way like we do? Probably not, but we don’t know it. The thing is, when we constantly compare ourselves with other people, disappointments are guaranteed. Because we only see pictures, or movies, we cannot look behind the scenes. Maybe our idol suffers from depression, and still we see those happy shiny pictures on social media? Do not compare yourself with others! Live your own life, take care of your own stuff and maybe you will be luckier one day than your role model has ever been!
Do you have a Smartphone? Can you imagine living without it? It may sound weird, but just 15 years ago nobody on our planet Earth had a Smartphone at all. This example illustrates, that things we need, things we buy and things we miss are directly related to the things which other people have. We cannot free ourselves from social norms and expectations. On the other hand, not everything fits to us. Don’t lose contact to the world around you, keep your eyes and mind open. Is a new trend something for you? Who knows best but you? At the end of the day, you make the decision and not society. But to be able to make this decision, you should know what the others are talking about. Therefore, a minimal participation on social life is always necessary.
It’s a good thing to know the world around us, other people’s opinions and to learn from them. But when it comes to your own life, the most qualified person is still you! Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; don’t fear the judgment of other people, because you are the only one in charge!
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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People care too much about what others think, even if they claim they do not. Do people really think about others so often? Whose opinion matters most when it's about to you? Yours! So why do people crave the judgments of others? We will explain and discuss the most frequent reasons in this article.
People with a low self-esteem tend to overrate other people’s opinions. Because they doubt their own capacities, they constantly look for the reassurance of others. This doesn’t help very much, as other people have other values, other lives and other experiences. Their judgements might therefore be misleading. What is good for one person does not need to be the best for another person. That’s why it is so important to trust in his own capacities and judgements instead of relying on other people’s opinions.
You had some bad experiences in the past or you made some bad decisions which you are regretting now? This can lead to the situation, that you lose the trust in your own decisions, meaning you do not trust yourself anymore. But when you take a look around, who else knows you better than yourself? Exactly, there is nobody. So if you made some mistakes in the past, it doesn’t mean that everything you do is wrong. It just proves that you are making mistakes. Mistakes are the best way to learn. So you should feel stronger after every mistake you made, every failure you experienced. Of course there is nothing wrong about asking other people about their opinions or advice, but don’t forget that you are the captain - This is your life!
When we start a new job, begin a new sport or we arrive in a new community, we are sometimes unsure how to act or react in this new environment. We ask other people for help, to explain or to introduce us. But this does not free us from the fact that we all need to make our own experiences. That’s why it’s good to learn from other people, but it’s wrong to take over their evaluations or opinions. We have to make our own experiences, no matter if they do or do not match with those from others.
If somebody has a tendency to isolate himself, this can lead to a decreased social life and rare contacts to other people. In these types of situations, there is a danger of losing connection to the world around us. As our contacts with other people become fewer, as higher is the barrier for a comeback to social life. The same problem occurs sometimes after a breakup or a failed relationship. When the period of grievance finishes, we may feel like kids exploring a new world, we have to learn how to chat with strangers again, how to go out again, how to connect with new people. It is important to remember in these situations, that even if your relationship failed, this does not mean automatically that you have failed as a person. That’s why you should remember your capacities, instead of being stuck in the negative environment you may come from. We have to leave isolation behind; we have to go out and enjoy life again – we don’t need to update our problems from the past.
Many people have idols or role models they like to follow. They dress like their idols, they try to behave the same way and they tend to compare their own lives with the life of their role model. This can be very depressing, as we usually choose our role models in very successful or famous people. Do our idols bring the trash out, wash the dishes and clean their toilets the same way like we do? Probably not, but we don’t know it. The thing is, when we constantly compare ourselves with other people, disappointments are guaranteed. Because we only see pictures, or movies, we cannot look behind the scenes. Maybe our idol suffers from depression, and still we see those happy shiny pictures on social media? Do not compare yourself with others! Live your own life, take care of your own stuff and maybe you will be luckier one day than your role model has ever been!
Do you have a Smartphone? Can you imagine living without it? It may sound weird, but just 15 years ago nobody on our planet Earth had a Smartphone at all. This example illustrates, that things we need, things we buy and things we miss are directly related to the things which other people have. We cannot free ourselves from social norms and expectations. On the other hand, not everything fits to us. Don’t lose contact to the world around you, keep your eyes and mind open. Is a new trend something for you? Who knows best but you? At the end of the day, you make the decision and not society. But to be able to make this decision, you should know what the others are talking about. Therefore, a minimal participation on social life is always necessary.
It’s a good thing to know the world around us, other people’s opinions and to learn from them. But when it comes to your own life, the most qualified person is still you! Don’t be afraid of making mistakes; don’t fear the judgment of other people, because you are the only one in charge!
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Children's imaginations know no limits and their dreams are a mix of hopes and fantasies, the real and the magical, the impossible and the achievable.
Stuck in a rut? Feeling overwhelmed or weary with life? Are you in need a life detox? Read our tips on how to detox your life this Autumn.
All parents want the best for their children, and building a close family with bonds that will last forever is the secret to seeing them thrive. Families flourish when their bonds are strong, and everyone in the family feels happy and secure.
A midlife crisis is the basis of stereotypes and jokes: the life stage when you suddenly feel tempted to do impulsive, outrageous things such as leave your spouse, buy a flashy motorbike and walk away from your job.
Read the complete article
It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.
From colouring your hair to whitening your teeth, there's a wide array of cosmetic options to make you look more youthful. But there's also a range of solutions that have been shown to slow or even reverse the ageing process.
As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.
No one knows what the future holds, so don't waste time and energy worrying about it. Read our tips and find out how to stop being afraid of what might never happen.
Read the complete article
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Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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