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What is holding you back?

What is holding you back

For many of us, the pandemic has forced us to put our dreams on hold. We've had to accept that achieving our goals may be delayed for the time being. But do you feel that you're never going to reach your goals? Or that your dreams are never going to come true? Maybe there's something that holds you back and makes you give up before you get anywhere near to achieving your goals.

Many of us get stuck in a rut of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that stop us from being successful. But it doesn't have to be this way! If you can identify the factors that are holding you back, you can start to change and get closer to achieving your aims in life. Here are some of the things that might be holding you back from succeeding.


1. You worry about what others think

It's common to allow the fear of what other people think to influence what you do. But this is something that you're allowing to happen to prevent you from achieving your goals. You worry that people will judge and criticise you if you go for something, so you give up your dream. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help to boost your self-belief and give your more confidence.

Remember that people judging you aren't important. People who care about you and whose opinion matters to you will support you in your aims. It's your life, and you shouldn't let fear of being judged stand in the way of achieving your plans. So follow your dreams! You'll soon realise that other people are mostly worrying about themselves and their own lives rather than judging you.

2. You worry about things that might not happen

Asking yourself, "What if?" all the time is guaranteed to hold you back! Instead of questioning yourself negatively, try to look at problems from a different perspective and ask yourself whether there's something different you could be doing.

When you constantly doubt yourself and worry about things that might never happen, you're more likely to give up on your dreams and stop trying. So ask yourself different questions, ones that will help you achieve your goals, and you'll get further along your path to success.

3. You don't reflect on mistakes

We all make mistakes but don't let mishaps hold you back. The secret is to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it so that you don't repeat the same mistake over and over again. Reflecting and assessing errors you've made will help you to come back stronger. When you know what doesn't work, keep on trying and find out what does.

4. It's never the right moment

There's never the "perfect" moment, so procrastinating and always waiting for precisely the right time will prevent you from achieving your dreams. Change the way you look at things: you've only got one life, so if you don't do it now, when will you? It's now or never!

One way to avoid procrastinating is to avoid distractions and manage your time better. Set a schedule and stick to it. Taking action and making a start will motivate you and take you nearer to making your dreams come true.

5. You don't have a clear idea of your goals

You will never achieve your dreams if you don't have a clear picture of what you want to achieve. When you know what you want out of life, you'll be able to plan your route to success. Try sharing your dreams with family and friends: their input and advice can help you firm up your plans. If you don't have a clear vision about what you want from life, be as open as possible to new ideas and experiences. You might discover opportunities you didn't know existed.

6. You always stick to what you know

If you're not achieving your goal, it could be because you're stuck in a rut. When your mind is set, and you don't consider different perspectives, you'll find it challenging to get any further in life. Try listening to others and look at things from a different angle: you'll find that being open to new ways of thinking will help you move on and achieve your aims.

7. You feel inadequate compared to others

Comparing yourself to others who are further down the road can be unrealistic and might undermine your self-confidence. You don't know the struggles others may have gone through and the obstacles they’ve had to overcome. And you can be sure that they will have made mistakes along the way. So focus on your own choices and don't be envious or discouraged.

8. You want instant results

If something's worth having, it's worth waiting for. If you're too impatient and give up on your goals as soon as you encounter an obstacle, you're unlikely to fulfil your dreams. Achieving your goals is a big project, and you need to persevere. So if attaining your aims is taking longer than you hoped, remember that it'll be worth it eventually.


Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/tools-resources/building-confidence

Created by Tom Vermeersch ()

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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What is holding you back?

What is holding you back?
What is holding you back

For many of us, the pandemic has forced us to put our dreams on hold. We've had to accept that achieving our goals may be delayed for the time being. But do you feel that you're never going to reach your goals? Or that your dreams are never going to come true? Maybe there's something that holds you back and makes you give up before you get anywhere near to achieving your goals.

Many of us get stuck in a rut of thoughts, beliefs and behaviours that stop us from being successful. But it doesn't have to be this way! If you can identify the factors that are holding you back, you can start to change and get closer to achieving your aims in life. Here are some of the things that might be holding you back from succeeding.

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

1. You worry about what others think

It's common to allow the fear of what other people think to influence what you do. But this is something that you're allowing to happen to prevent you from achieving your goals. You worry that people will judge and criticise you if you go for something, so you give up your dream. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help to boost your self-belief and give your more confidence.

Remember that people judging you aren't important. People who care about you and whose opinion matters to you will support you in your aims. It's your life, and you shouldn't let fear of being judged stand in the way of achieving your plans. So follow your dreams! You'll soon realise that other people are mostly worrying about themselves and their own lives rather than judging you.

2. You worry about things that might not happen

Asking yourself, "What if?" all the time is guaranteed to hold you back! Instead of questioning yourself negatively, try to look at problems from a different perspective and ask yourself whether there's something different you could be doing.

When you constantly doubt yourself and worry about things that might never happen, you're more likely to give up on your dreams and stop trying. So ask yourself different questions, ones that will help you achieve your goals, and you'll get further along your path to success.

3. You don't reflect on mistakes

We all make mistakes but don't let mishaps hold you back. The secret is to reflect on what went wrong and learn from it so that you don't repeat the same mistake over and over again. Reflecting and assessing errors you've made will help you to come back stronger. When you know what doesn't work, keep on trying and find out what does.

4. It's never the right moment

There's never the "perfect" moment, so procrastinating and always waiting for precisely the right time will prevent you from achieving your dreams. Change the way you look at things: you've only got one life, so if you don't do it now, when will you? It's now or never!

One way to avoid procrastinating is to avoid distractions and manage your time better. Set a schedule and stick to it. Taking action and making a start will motivate you and take you nearer to making your dreams come true.

5. You don't have a clear idea of your goals

You will never achieve your dreams if you don't have a clear picture of what you want to achieve. When you know what you want out of life, you'll be able to plan your route to success. Try sharing your dreams with family and friends: their input and advice can help you firm up your plans. If you don't have a clear vision about what you want from life, be as open as possible to new ideas and experiences. You might discover opportunities you didn't know existed.

6. You always stick to what you know

If you're not achieving your goal, it could be because you're stuck in a rut. When your mind is set, and you don't consider different perspectives, you'll find it challenging to get any further in life. Try listening to others and look at things from a different angle: you'll find that being open to new ways of thinking will help you move on and achieve your aims.

7. You feel inadequate compared to others

Comparing yourself to others who are further down the road can be unrealistic and might undermine your self-confidence. You don't know the struggles others may have gone through and the obstacles they’ve had to overcome. And you can be sure that they will have made mistakes along the way. So focus on your own choices and don't be envious or discouraged.

8. You want instant results

If something's worth having, it's worth waiting for. If you're too impatient and give up on your goals as soon as you encounter an obstacle, you're unlikely to fulfil your dreams. Achieving your goals is a big project, and you need to persevere. So if attaining your aims is taking longer than you hoped, remember that it'll be worth it eventually.


Sources:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/

https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/tools-resources/building-confidence


Marie Pure

Other articles


Mistakes as a Parent

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Read the complete article

Who are the (surprisingly) happiest people in the world

Who are the (surprisingly) happiest people in the world?

For the third year running, Finland has come top of the World Happiness Report as the world's happiest country. The result might surprise anyone who believes that sunshine is an essential ingredient for happiness: the country sees only 8 hours of daylight during the depths of winter. Even some Finns think they don't deserve the win. So how accurate is the World Happiness Report and what's the secret of Finland's success?

Read the complete article

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

Six things we think will make us happy, but don't!

When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives. 

Read the complete article

How to stop everything going wrong

How to stop everything going wrong

Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.

Read the complete article

Did you get stuck in the past

Did you get stuck in the past?

Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?

Read the complete article

Live Forever the Habits of People Who Live a Long, Healthy Life

Live Forever: the Habits of People Who Live a Long, Healthy Life

Legends of immortality have been told and retold throughout history. From ancient Greek myths to modern movies and novels, the dream of eternal youth has been passed down from generation to generation.

Read the complete article

Letting go A guide for survivors

Letting go: A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

Read the complete article

How to deal with negative people

How to deal with negative people

Is someone bringing you down because of their negativity? Read our tips on how to deal with negative people and be a positive person yourself.

Read the complete article

Are you stuck in a rut

Are you stuck in a rut?

Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.

Read the complete article

Are you resilient enough Take our quiz!

Are you resilient enough? Take our quiz!

Do you have enough resilience to face the world out there? Take our quiz to find out how resilient you are and find tips on how to build your mental resilience.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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