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A person who suffers with an inferiority complex can be defined as someone who tends to fixate on their own perceived weaknesses and flaws, while comparing themselves negatively to other people. Of course, we all have flaws but those who have an inferiority complex can see very little about themselves in a positive light. Psychological studies have found that people who think this way about themselves struggle to find lasting happiness.
The opposite of an inferiority complex would be a superiority complex, where a person thinks they are better than everyone else, and can of course be completely deluded. It is far healthier to walk the middle ground between an inferiority and a superiority complex.
Psychologists think that the root causes of an inferiority complex can originate in childhood.
You may recognise the most common symptoms if you’re an inferiority complex sufferer. These can include:
Your knee jerk reaction may be to try not to give a monkey’s about what anyone else thinks. But what you should actually do is the reverse. Start caring only about what YOU think. Judge yourself by your own standards. If you did your best, then you did a great job! This means understanding what you personally (and realistically) find to be valuable, and then measuring yourself against your own standards.
We live in a world where on the one hand we are inundated by images of perfection and glamour through the media and its ridiculous obsession with celebrity, while on the other, social media means we are constantly comparing ourselves and our lives to other people. This is a pointless exercise. When you look at someone else’s profile or photo and feel worthless or jealous, take a moment to think realistically what you know about that person and their lives. You cannot compare your whole life to one thing you see or know about somebody else.
You are you, not somebody else, and the you that you are, is unique.
When you feel better about yourself, you have an increased sense of security and you feel worthy (instead of inferior). Try and treat yourself better, by reminding yourself that you are valuable and by taking good care of yourself (what you eat and drink, what exercise you do, what you read, how you dress, how you groom yourself etc.). Start now by making a list of what you love about yourself and pinning its somewhere you can see it.
Do you let your inner critic run the show? Now is the time to tell it to shut up! Think about the words you use to talk about yourself. Is it negative? Are there elements of self-loathing? Do you see how unkind you are being to yourself? Turn that inner critic around. Talk to yourself about how worthy you are instead. Believe it!
It may be the case that the people you hang around with most are the ones who are quite critical of you. If you do have toxic friends, or members of your family are downright mean, eliminate them from your life as far as possible. Or put them straight. No-one needs to put you down. You’ll develop a much healthier sense of self if you hang around with the people who value you and what you do.
Try and use positive body language even if you feel shy. Where possible, look at someone directly, smile, talk at a normal volume, have the confidence to listen and think before you respond to a question.
If you’re a perfectionist, nothing will ever be good enough, and you’ll feel bad because inferiority and perfectionism tend to go together, united in comparison and judgement. Perfectionism tends to lend itself to procrastination and inaction, meaning you’ll never achieve what you want to achieve, and this starts a vicious cycle of judging yourself and feeling negative about your achievements. You can only get better at things, by failing and learning lessons first.
Recognise that social media is a superficial way to present our lives. We choose what we want others to see. We don’t show pictures of our boils, or our kids’ head lice, or the wet towels all over the untidy bathroom. Research from Glasgow University suggests night-time usage of social media is associated with poor sleep, lower self-esteem and increased anxiety and depression. Social media distorts what we see - so either don’t use it, or take everything you see with a pinch of salt.
What is your definition of failure, and why do you define failure a certain way? Is it because of other people’s expectations? If that’s the case. You may be living your life according to what other people want and expect. Potentially this can damage your happiness. Being brave and living the life you want is one way to rid yourself of an inferiority complex. You are a unique individual, and if you choose to live in a cave and Rescue hedgehogs, why shouldn’t you? Cast aside societal norms if you want to, and live the way you want, as long as you’re not hurting anyone else, no-one has a right to judge.
One of my favourite quotes is this one, from Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Your inferiority complex starts with you, but you have the most amazing and ultimate of powers – you can change yourself.
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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A person who suffers with an inferiority complex can be defined as someone who tends to fixate on their own perceived weaknesses and flaws, while comparing themselves negatively to other people. Of course, we all have flaws but those who have an inferiority complex can see very little about themselves in a positive light. Psychological studies have found that people who think this way about themselves struggle to find lasting happiness.
The opposite of an inferiority complex would be a superiority complex, where a person thinks they are better than everyone else, and can of course be completely deluded. It is far healthier to walk the middle ground between an inferiority and a superiority complex.
Psychologists think that the root causes of an inferiority complex can originate in childhood.
You may recognise the most common symptoms if you’re an inferiority complex sufferer. These can include:
Your knee jerk reaction may be to try not to give a monkey’s about what anyone else thinks. But what you should actually do is the reverse. Start caring only about what YOU think. Judge yourself by your own standards. If you did your best, then you did a great job! This means understanding what you personally (and realistically) find to be valuable, and then measuring yourself against your own standards.
We live in a world where on the one hand we are inundated by images of perfection and glamour through the media and its ridiculous obsession with celebrity, while on the other, social media means we are constantly comparing ourselves and our lives to other people. This is a pointless exercise. When you look at someone else’s profile or photo and feel worthless or jealous, take a moment to think realistically what you know about that person and their lives. You cannot compare your whole life to one thing you see or know about somebody else.
You are you, not somebody else, and the you that you are, is unique.
When you feel better about yourself, you have an increased sense of security and you feel worthy (instead of inferior). Try and treat yourself better, by reminding yourself that you are valuable and by taking good care of yourself (what you eat and drink, what exercise you do, what you read, how you dress, how you groom yourself etc.). Start now by making a list of what you love about yourself and pinning its somewhere you can see it.
Do you let your inner critic run the show? Now is the time to tell it to shut up! Think about the words you use to talk about yourself. Is it negative? Are there elements of self-loathing? Do you see how unkind you are being to yourself? Turn that inner critic around. Talk to yourself about how worthy you are instead. Believe it!
It may be the case that the people you hang around with most are the ones who are quite critical of you. If you do have toxic friends, or members of your family are downright mean, eliminate them from your life as far as possible. Or put them straight. No-one needs to put you down. You’ll develop a much healthier sense of self if you hang around with the people who value you and what you do.
Try and use positive body language even if you feel shy. Where possible, look at someone directly, smile, talk at a normal volume, have the confidence to listen and think before you respond to a question.
If you’re a perfectionist, nothing will ever be good enough, and you’ll feel bad because inferiority and perfectionism tend to go together, united in comparison and judgement. Perfectionism tends to lend itself to procrastination and inaction, meaning you’ll never achieve what you want to achieve, and this starts a vicious cycle of judging yourself and feeling negative about your achievements. You can only get better at things, by failing and learning lessons first.
Recognise that social media is a superficial way to present our lives. We choose what we want others to see. We don’t show pictures of our boils, or our kids’ head lice, or the wet towels all over the untidy bathroom. Research from Glasgow University suggests night-time usage of social media is associated with poor sleep, lower self-esteem and increased anxiety and depression. Social media distorts what we see - so either don’t use it, or take everything you see with a pinch of salt.
What is your definition of failure, and why do you define failure a certain way? Is it because of other people’s expectations? If that’s the case. You may be living your life according to what other people want and expect. Potentially this can damage your happiness. Being brave and living the life you want is one way to rid yourself of an inferiority complex. You are a unique individual, and if you choose to live in a cave and Rescue hedgehogs, why shouldn’t you? Cast aside societal norms if you want to, and live the way you want, as long as you’re not hurting anyone else, no-one has a right to judge.
One of my favourite quotes is this one, from Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Your inferiority complex starts with you, but you have the most amazing and ultimate of powers – you can change yourself.
Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.
Read the complete article
Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".
People always think: that’s just me. I'm not good at 'X', that is just my character. Here are some reasons why it's never too late to change.
Read the complete article
Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.
Do you sometimes feel your achievements are not the result of your hard work and skill but are just luck? And do you fear that one day, someone will reveal you as an imposter or fraud? You might have imposter syndrome!
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
Motivation can be somewhat elusive - some days, you just can't seem to make yourself do the stuff you don't want to. But putting things off just leads to stress, frustration and a sense of guilt.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
Read the complete article
Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
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