When you have been hurt very deeply, it can be difficult to forgive. You may have suffered a loss, or a relationship breakdown, and you feel bitter and angry. The truth is however, that real forgiveness can help you heal from grief and depression when bad things have happened to you - or to someone you love. You may well want to learn to forgive, but you’re struggling. Our tips may help you, or at least set you on the right path.
Forgiveness is the act of letting go of a grievance or judgment you are holding against another person. Forgiveness allows you to let go feelings of bitterness, resentment, and vengeance. It is entirely for your own benefit.
When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you pardon or excuse their behaviour which may have been illegal, criminal or immoral. Forgiveness does not involve you making excuses for the other person. You don’t have to tell the other person you forgive them either – forgiveness is a private affair. Forgiving someone won’t mean that you never think about what happened, it will always be something that was important to you -something that mattered. You never forgive for the sake of another person. Forgiveness is something you do for you because you love, honour and respect yourself.
If you don’t forgive, you may experience a wide range of emotions that hold you back or down. You may feel oppressed or depressed. Your emotions can include anger, bitterness and hate. Sometimes these emotions can trigger physical symptoms, such as upset stomachs, anxiety, depression, or high blood pressure for example.
This is simplistic of course. It may take you a long time to get over what hurt you. Each of these steps may take weeks or months. It is an individual journey that you have to work through in your own time. You will always remember what happened, but hopefully you will be able to move on in a positive and life-affirming way.
It is said that a life well lived is your best revenge. You can choose how you react to something or someone that has wounded you deeply, by turning to the light and looking only for the good. Find the love, beauty and kindness around you. Don’t act on your anger. Don’t turn into a person you are not.
Sometimes, forgiveness becomes easier with the passing of time. You may not be ready to forgive yet, but in ten days, ten months, or ten years you might be.
Created by Tom Vermeersch (bio)
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
Banning negativity from your life: Start today
Is life getting you down? Negativity can ruin your outlook and stop your productivity. What about banning negativity from your life? Start today.
Let's go! How to make resolutions work
It's the same every year. We start well by making some New Year's resolutions but end up ditching them before January ends. So you how do you choose resolutions you can stick to?
Are you a procrastinator? Don’t procrastinate and do something about it!
Your list of chores to be done gets longer and longer, and your stress levels get higher, which makes you feel unhappy! Deal with your procrastination today, with these 7 tips
Your life's ticking along nicely; you seem to have everything you could reasonably wish for. But you feel sad, and you don't know why. Maybe you're not getting enough sleep? Or is it the weather? Or is there something else going on?
Should you worry? Four questions
Should you worry? Four questions to ask yourself if you’re constantly worrying about the future. Worrying is a negative cycle. Stop worrying today.
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
Is it possible to achieve inner calm when you have an untidy, noisy mind? It takes practice. Try our helpful tips for taming your busy mind here.
From colouring your hair to whitening your teeth, there's a wide array of cosmetic options to make you look more youthful. But there's also a range of solutions that have been shown to slow or even reverse the ageing process.
Did you get stuck in the past?
Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?
Tips to balance your negative aspects
Everyone is unique, even in their own bad habits or negative traits. Here are some tips to balance those negative traits in our new article!
When you have been hurt very deeply, it can be difficult to forgive. You may have suffered a loss, or a relationship breakdown, and you feel bitter and angry. The truth is however, that real forgiveness can help you heal from grief and depression when bad things have happened to you - or to someone you love. You may well want to learn to forgive, but you’re struggling. Our tips may help you, or at least set you on the right path.
Forgiveness is the act of letting go of a grievance or judgment you are holding against another person. Forgiveness allows you to let go feelings of bitterness, resentment, and vengeance. It is entirely for your own benefit.
When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean you pardon or excuse their behaviour which may have been illegal, criminal or immoral. Forgiveness does not involve you making excuses for the other person. You don’t have to tell the other person you forgive them either – forgiveness is a private affair. Forgiving someone won’t mean that you never think about what happened, it will always be something that was important to you -something that mattered. You never forgive for the sake of another person. Forgiveness is something you do for you because you love, honour and respect yourself.
If you don’t forgive, you may experience a wide range of emotions that hold you back or down. You may feel oppressed or depressed. Your emotions can include anger, bitterness and hate. Sometimes these emotions can trigger physical symptoms, such as upset stomachs, anxiety, depression, or high blood pressure for example.
This is simplistic of course. It may take you a long time to get over what hurt you. Each of these steps may take weeks or months. It is an individual journey that you have to work through in your own time. You will always remember what happened, but hopefully you will be able to move on in a positive and life-affirming way.
It is said that a life well lived is your best revenge. You can choose how you react to something or someone that has wounded you deeply, by turning to the light and looking only for the good. Find the love, beauty and kindness around you. Don’t act on your anger. Don’t turn into a person you are not.
Sometimes, forgiveness becomes easier with the passing of time. You may not be ready to forgive yet, but in ten days, ten months, or ten years you might be.
Is life getting you down? Negativity can ruin your outlook and stop your productivity. What about banning negativity from your life? Start today.
It's the same every year. We start well by making some New Year's resolutions but end up ditching them before January ends. So you how do you choose resolutions you can stick to?
Your list of chores to be done gets longer and longer, and your stress levels get higher, which makes you feel unhappy! Deal with your procrastination today, with these 7 tips
Your life's ticking along nicely; you seem to have everything you could reasonably wish for. But you feel sad, and you don't know why. Maybe you're not getting enough sleep? Or is it the weather? Or is there something else going on?
Should you worry? Four questions to ask yourself if you’re constantly worrying about the future. Worrying is a negative cycle. Stop worrying today.
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
Is it possible to achieve inner calm when you have an untidy, noisy mind? It takes practice. Try our helpful tips for taming your busy mind here.
From colouring your hair to whitening your teeth, there's a wide array of cosmetic options to make you look more youthful. But there's also a range of solutions that have been shown to slow or even reverse the ageing process.
Do you find yourself often thinking about your past? Do you wish you could turn back the clock to days gone by or things as they were before covid disrupted the world?
Everyone is unique, even in their own bad habits or negative traits. Here are some tips to balance those negative traits in our new article!
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
© 2025 Mariepure - Webdesign Publi4u
Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.
